Month: February 2018

Art as a Spiritual Practice

The “something new” I’ve chosen to try in February is a three evening class series called Art as a Spiritual Practice offered at Evenstar’s Chalice (“The place to BE for Everyday Enchantments and Inspiration.”) in Ypsilanti, MI. The teacher has a great name: Rocky Rains. He’s described as an “artist with over 40 years’experience as a Traditional Folk Magick practitioner”. Beyond “artist”, I had no idea what that means. But that’s part of the adventure! He’s further described as “a reliable guide for walking the pathof spiritual art making.” Guidance will surely be needed by this participant! The class is described as being for folks with any level of artistic experience. Thank goodness. We will use drawing, painting and craft work to learn how art can be prayer, ritual and a way to encounter the Divine. We are invited to learn how to access the creative force within and our inner wisdom and intuition. Becoming more intuitive is one of my ongoing goals.

Our first meeting was held on 2/1/18. The topic was Pan-Cultural Shamanism. Shamanism and shamanic journeying are interests of mine so this seemed auspicious. Rocky  (Shadow Bear) shared that he is a practitioner of “the cunning arts” and explained briefly about his background with both Native American and other teachers. According to Rocky:

Europeans and Africans in British North America that came here in the 17th and 18th centuries brought with them the spiritual, religious and magical their traditions of their homelands. The blending of these traditions with those of the Native Peoples of North America became the bedrock for future iterations of American folk magic.

Rocky himself is a blend of Scots-Irish and Cherokee heritage. His ancestors were Appalachian mountain folk.

After smudging each of us, Rocky took us through a guided journey in which we were directed to observe and experience certain things that we would remember when we returned. The journey was fairly short but the imagery was vivid. Thus inspired, we each sewed and decorated a personal medicine bag (aka healer’s pouch, bundle, mesa in the Andean shamanic tradition, spirit bag) of leather. This is a spiritual container in which to place one or more sacred or meaningful objects. Rocky gave us each a small bundle of red material containing objects and herbs from various shamanic cultures (like tobacco,corn,soil from a liminal spot, Mugwort plus 16 more) to place inside.  We can add more if we wish. I felt inspired to decorate the front of my pouch with an image related to a symbol I saw in the journey. This symbol was on a door leading further into spaces that we did not explore during this journey. Rocky also gave us each a piece of handmade parchment on which to draw this symbol before placing it into our pouch. We each received a master key as well.

It surprised me that a relatively brief guided journey could be so detailed and rich. When making the bag I did feel that I was in touch with some of my inner creativity. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t  engage a process of working through my usual anxieties about right brain activities: “Will I do it right?”, “I’m not as creative as everyone else.”, “Mine isn’t going to turn out.”, etc. But it didn’t take too long to let go and just have fun with it.

You may wonder how this relates in my mind to preparing for retirement. Here’s how I see it. I’ve always enjoyed trying out new activities that are different from what I’m most comfortable with. Over the years I’ve done things like altered book making, tried hand quilting and weaving on a rudimentary loom, taken classes in medical intuition, done ecstatic dance, and gone zip lining and white water rafting, for example. As I approach retirement I want to really lock in and reinforce this behavior so that I can avoid getting into ruts and stagnation. I want to keep learning and experiencing, to take this way of living into retirement. I’ve been a lifelong learner; somehow it seems especially important right now to embrace this value and identity. This likely reflects some fearful thoughts I have related to retirement and aging that bear exploration. (That theme keeps cropping up so its time to get out the journal, Byron Katie’s The Work “One Belief at a Time” Worksheet, talk it through, etc.)

The theme of the next class is the  Divine Feminine, something dear to my heart. But…. we’ll be painting!  Stay tuned to see if my right brain can carry the day and take my hand along with it.

A Visit to the Social Security Ofice

February 7, 2018
On Friday last Dale and I headed for our local Social Security office. Since he is retiring on 2/9/18, his employer provided Blue Cross will become secondary to Medicare as our primary insurance carrier. We each signed up for Medicare Part A when we hit 65 but didn’t need Part B. Now we do.

Since starting my professional career in 1974 I’ve almost always had insurance through my employers.There was a brief time, when I was at home for three years raising young children, when my now ex-husband
provided my insurance through his work. When we separated it was very important to me to get a job with health insurance and other good benefits.

When Dale started talking with me about the possibility that he could put me on his insurance as his domestic partner, at his expense, it meant a lot to me. This was a generous offer that further and tangibly reflected the nature of our relationship. Practically speaking, it also means that after
retirement I will continue to have Blue Cross insurance. I won’t have to purchase a secondary insurance on the open market. My employer of 30 years does not offer this benefit to retirees. I still remember when, as a much younger person, I realized that fact with dismay and shock. Ironically, I am employed by a large health care system.

At the same time I registered a little anxiety at the idea of giving up my own insurance. In November, when it was time for me to select benefits for 2018, I nervously asked Dale more than once if he was sure it had gone through, that I would really be covered on his plan. Despite reassurances I didn’t relax until I saw the print out of his benefit selections. I still don’t have my own insurance card. It feels weird to be carrying a copy of a card with his name on it but it’s worked so far when I’ve had to use it.

I’ve also been surprised to realize that the idea that Medicare will be my primary insurance come March doesn’t feel very good. I’m trying to understand this. On the one hand I’m very grateful for Medicare, for myself, other older adults and for people with disabilities like many of my clients. On the other hand, I think I must have some ego wrapped up in having  had excellent insurance connected with my work. I’ve never used Medicare Part A, never had to pull out that card in a doctor’s office like other senior
citizens do. I’ll be sixty nine next month but I feel far younger. I know I’m aging. I can feel it, but I guess I don’t want to be looked at as “old”.  What being “old” means to me  warrants lots of investigation. Medicare is challenging my denial, darn it!